It’s a difficult, uncomfortable topic to address, yet the cost of avoiding it is devastating; statistics show that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18. I don’t know statistics for the occurrence of sexual abuse in children with autism, yet their characteristic difficulty reading social cues, understanding intent, and communicating effectively with others makes them a very vulnerable target. Here is a great web site with perspectives related to autism and sexual abuse: http://www.williamstillman.com/archive/Sexual_Victimization.html
While the facts are staggering and disturbing, the reality is that every one of us can contribute to the solution to this problem! Deliberate choices can help create an environment where child sexual abuse cannot happen. These include:
1. Educate yourself about the problem. It’s important to know who the perpetrators are (they’re not typically “strangers,” but are often trusted family members or friends), how the problem occurs (often in one-adult/one-child situations), and the signs and symptoms that a child has been abused (often there’s a change in behavior, emotional regulation, health, toileting habits, etc.) I encourage you to spend a few minutes at the Darkness to Light web site at http://www.d2l.org/site/c.4dICIJOkGcISE/b.6143427/k.38C5/Child_Sexual_Abuse_Statistics.htm.
2. Be aware of your surroundings, and let others know that you are informed and deliberate about preventing child sexual abuse. Do you work with children? Do you have—and adhere to—a child safety policy? Do you make sure that people working with your child follow procedures that will ensure the safety of the children in their care? Do you avoid—and help others avoid—situations where a child is left alone with an adult? Do you know the parents and siblings of the children whose homes are open to your child? Do you know who’s at that home when your child is there?
3. Be one of the fewer than 30% of parents who talk to your children about the importance of making choices that will keep them safe. Tell children, “Secrets can be dangerous. It’s best not to keep secrets from adults.” Teach them about their bodies (the information about writing Social Stories™ about personal space on our web site at http://thegraycenter.org/social-stories/how-to-write-social-stories may help), and that it’s not okay for anyone (even trusted parents, friends, teachers, or siblings) to talk to them or touch them in a sexual way. Teach them not to give out personal information over the Internet, and check up on them through deliberate monitoring (see http://thegraycenter.org/bookstore?page=shop.product_details&flypage=flypage.tpl&product_id=289&category_id=24 for more assistance).
4. Make yourself available to children, interacting appropriately and safely, watching for signs of problems, listening carefully, and letting them know you respect and believe them when concerns are raised. And know who to contact if you believe that a child—yours or someone else’s—is being or has been abused.
Special thanks to the Autism Society of West Shore (www.asws.org) for making the “Darkness to Light” workshop available to our West Michigan community this past week. I became better informed as a result, and am committed to doing my part to make my home, The Gray Center, and my community a safe place for the children entrusted to our care.
I hope you’ll join me in deliberately protecting our children!
Laurel Falvo, CFLE
Certified Family Life Educator
Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding
www.thegraycenter.org
P.S. If you have a heart for children who have been abused and neglected, and a few extra hours per week, you might want to do what I’ve recently done—become a CASA volunteer (Court Appointed Special Advocate). More information is available at http://www.casaforchildren.org. Although this program is specific to The United States, readers in other parts of the world may have additional ways of supporting and advocating for children in your community.
