Gray Center SUN News

Just Because

Over three years ago, I began sending a weekly “SUN News” article to people around the world who are working to promote social understanding. These articles have focused on autism spectrum disorders (ASD), social understanding, teaching, parenting, sensory integration, adolescence, Social Stories™ and other resources, new ways of viewing our parenting and teaching, and more. Many of you have written to express appreciation for these articles, and have shared your stories and your questions so that I have had an opportunity to learn from you, also. Your inspiration and encouragement have helped me send out over 160 weekly articles to date.  Thank you!

 

Many of you have purchased books, DVDs, posters, and/or CDs from The Gray Center’s online bookstore, or participated in our workshops, conferences, groups, networks, and coaching services. The money you spend on Gray Center resources helps us to provide these valuable opportunities. Thank you!

 

By participating in the areas listed above, you have indicated that you need the information that The Gray Center provides. Through accessing our web site, calling or emailing our staff, or attending an event, you receive necessary—and hopefully valuable—information and support.

 

I’m writing today to ask you to do one more thing—“just because!”  It’s something you can do to help The Gray Center and the people we serve. It’s an opportunity to impact the lives of individuals and families around the world.

 

I’m asking you to make a donation, in any amount you are able, “just because!”

 

Your “just because” may differ from that of another person reading this today. Perhaps you can identify with one or more of the following:

 

Maybe you are willing to give a donation “just because…”

 

-       You have a child, sibling, parent, grandchild, friend, employee or student with autism—or you have been diagnosed with ASD or believe that you may be on the spectrum

-       You have been receiving and benefiting from The SUN News—a resource which The Gray Center provides for free–for up to three years

-       You have received assistance from a Gray Center staff member or from our web site

-       You share in The Gray Center’s mission of promoting social understanding

-       You are willing to give up a latte, dinner in a restaurant, or new purchase so that The Gray Center can use your gift to provide services to a family who is out of work and unable to access necessary resources and/or struggling with a new diagnosis or strategies for improving social effectiveness

-       You care about The Gray Center’s ability to continue to provide these services, and recognize that in this difficult economy, we can’t do it without you

 

I know there are many wonderful organizations vying for your financial contributions, especially at this time of year. You likely encounter daily opportunities to spend your hard-earned money. We are honored that you continue to support The Gray Center with your time and your participation, but hope you’ll take a moment to give a financial gift, whether it’s $5, $25, $100, or $500… “just because!”

 

Thank you for supporting The Gray Center!

 

Laurel Falvo, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

 

You can give quickly and securely online at www.thegraycenter.org, or send a check to:

The Gray Center, 100 Pine St., Suite 121, Zeeland, MI  49464

Note that all donations are tax-deductible (in the US) and will be acknowledged with a letter/receipt.

(Please note that we will not be using the postal service to send a letter requesting donations. We are using our financial resources to meet people’s needs, rather than paying for paper and postage.)

 

 

If you shop online, please use www.iGive.com/graycenter as your gateway to surfing and shopping. The Gray Center receives donations from thousands of online merchants when you visit their sites and make purchases. (Installing the iGive toolbar on your browser is a great way to ensure that donations will be tracked and credited to The Gray Center).

 

ONE MORE NOTE: All Social Story™ resources are on SALE through tomorrow evening at www.thegraycenter.org as our way of saying “thanks” for your support!


Posted in Uncategorized

Giving Thanks

This week many of us living in the USA will take a break to give thanks over the Thanksgiving holiday. Kids and school staff will be thankful for a break from school, as will all the others who get a welcome holiday from their work. Families will give thanks for the loved ones gathered around their table, as well as those who are far away.

At The Gray Center we are thankful for many things:

  • The countless people who call, e-mail, visit, or fax us throughout the year. Your stories inspire us, your questions help us learn and share what we have learned, and your encouragement keeps us going!
  • People with autism, who continue to provide us with valuable understanding and memorable experiences.
  • The parents and other family members, teachers, administrators, counselors, individuals with ASD, and numerous others who are regularly working to promote social understanding. You are making a noticeable, positive difference in our world!
  • The parents, young adults, grandparents, teachers, and community representatives who attend our workshops and network meetings. They remind us of the needs we’re working to meet, and bring new information and ideas to our attention!
  • The volunteers who regularly give of their time and talents. They help to keep The Gray Center’s doors open, and assist us in staying focused on our mission.
  • Our board members, who are committed to growing and strengthening The Gray Center so that it can continue to meet people’s needs far into the future.
  • The authors, presenters, and researchers who continue to provide new information to those seeking support. They help everyone to stay current, and to reignite our passion for promoting social understanding.
  • Our staff—not only do we accomplish much with little, but we have lots of fun doing it!
  • Our donors, whose generosity enables us to continue to promote social understanding! As we near the end of 2009, we hope you’ll consider making a tax-deductible donation to The Gray Center. You can do so safely and securely online at www.thegraycenter.org. We can only do our work through your generous support and partnership!

We give thanks for each one of you, and all that you are doing to promote social understanding and to support the Gray Center!

As a way of expressing our thanks to everyone on our new mailing list, this week we are giving $10 off your orders of $50 or more! (Haven’t yet subscribed? Email info@thegraycenter.org for more information).

Happy Thanksgiving, from all of us at The Gray Center, to all of you!

Laurel Falvo, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

(Please note that our office will be closed Thursday and Friday to enable our staff and volunteers to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday with our families. We will, however, be open on Saturday, November 28 from 9:30-11:00 a.m. if you’d like to stop in to peruse our library and bookstore.)


Posted in Uncategorized

It’s a Matter of Perspective

My oldest son has grown more than four inches in less than a year! Although I’m quite tall, he passed me up already last summer, and now stands over six feet two inches (that’s more than 187 centimeters, for those of you who are accustomed to using the metric system). Perhaps the most remarkable thing is that he is only 15 years old, so he is likely to go through a couple of shoe sizes yet before he stops growing. I’m still getting used to looking up at him when I talk to him, or reaching way up for a hug.

A few weeks ago, I asked my son to hang some signs at The Gray Center for an upcoming young adult meeting. When I walked through the halls later, I had to chuckle when I found the signs hanging just a short distance from the ceiling, higher than most people would have looked for directions as they tried to find our office. In hanging the signs, Ben forgot that most people have a different perspective of “eye level” than he does! Similarly, I remember helping a blind student around campus when I was a college student. As he hung onto my arm, we walked from building to building discussing our classes. I occasionally had to apologize to him when I ducked successfully under a low-hanging branch, forgetting that he was unable to see the branch to do the same.

The truth is, we typically operate under an assumption that other people have the same perspective that we do. It takes a conscious effort to remind ourselves that their perspective (physical, emotional, etc.—what I refer to in my “Social Response Pyramid” as “My Context”) will differ from our own because of a difference in age, life experiences, personality, feelings, expectations, abilities, needs, interests, etc.—including the presence of autism, height, or ability to see. Whether we’re teaching, parenting, guiding, befriending, correcting, encouraging, or disciplining, our perspective will naturally differ from another person’s perspective. Keeping this in mind—and making accommodations when necessary—will help all of us to be more effective in our interactions with others!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. This weekend my husband and I worked around the clock with developers, volunteering over 150 “man hours” through GR GiveCamp to develop a new web site for The Gray Center! We hope to unveil the new site soon. We’re incredibly thankful for the time and expertise donated through this event. We hope you will also be inspired to make a donation to The Gray Center. You can give quickly and securely at www.thegraycenter.org. It is only through your generous support that we are able to provide resources such as The SUN News, web site, library, groups, etc. Thank you!


Green Thumbs Needed

Do you have a “green thumb?” That term refers to someone who knows how to grow plants and help them flourish. Some people have either studied plant care, or just seem to know how to position the plants, water and feed them, and pinch off dead growth to encourage new growth. Plants under their care are healthy and productive.

The Gray Center needs some “green thumbs” to help our organization continue to grow! We’ve just celebrated ten years of service to the local and global communities. People around the world have benefitted from our services, resources, and web site at www.thegraycenter.org. We’re excited about the plans we have for the future, including a new web site which will be unveiled shortly, some new resources including a new Social Story book by Carol Gray, and new services such as social coaching and consulting. We continue to hear that we’re making a difference as we provide information and support to those who are working to promote social understanding with individuals with autism spectrum disorders. But we can’t do it without your help!

As you support The Gray Center with your tax-deductible donations, you can “grow” the following resources:

-       “ASD to Z” is a booklet published by The Gray Center in 2005. The Gray Center has distributed more than 14,000 copies, many given free to families new to the diagnosis. Your gift of $5 enables us to mail one copy to someone who needs it. A gift of $1000 will enable us to publish a second companion resource, which will provide more in-depth information and support to parents, grandparents, siblings, professionals, and individuals with ASD.

-       Young Adult Network: We have just added a second location for our young adult network. We have a fabulous group of over 20 people with ASD, ages 16 and older, who participate regularly. Many feel that they have nowhere else to receive this type of social interaction and instruction. Your gift of $100 enables one young adult to attend meetings and social events for a year, to form friendships, and to learn and practice valuable social skills. A gift of $3600 will enable The Gray Center to lease additional space for the next year, to provide a special place (with games, technology, and comfortable seating) for the young adults to gather on a regular basis.

-       Social Coaching and Consulting: Many people need one-on-one assistance to get “unstuck” as they parent a child with ASD, or work to interact more effectively with others. Although The Gray Center has priced these sessions to simply cover our expenses, the economy has made it difficult for some to access this valuable service. Your gift of $100 will provide four months of on-going individual support for someone who desperately needs it.

-       Our web site at www.thegraycenter.org is going to be redone this weekend, thanks to the generous support of GiveCamp and dedicated volunteers. Your financial contributions will allow us to make additional changes in the upcoming months to ensure that this resource can provide you with the information you need in order to continue to promote social understanding in your area of the world.

We’re excited about the growth The Gray Center has experienced during our first ten years of service to the local and global communities. We know that with your continued support, we will grow and flourish in the months and years ahead. Please consider making an online donation at www.thegraycenter.org, or mailing a check to The Gray Center, 100 Pine Street Suite 121, Zeeland, MI  49464.

Your holiday on-line shopping can also benefit The Gray Center at no additional expense to you by logging on through www.iGive.com/graycenter before you shop. And as always, your purchases at www.thegraycenter.org provide the necessary revenue for The Gray Center to continue to be a source of information and support around the world. Thank you!

Laurel Falvo, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. We hope you’ll join us for tonight’s “Proactive Parenting” meeting at The Gray Center in Zeeland (7:00-8:30 p.m.). Go to www.thegraycenter.org for more information.


Posted in Uncategorized

Characteristics of Autism: Social Participation

Welcome to The SUN News–a weekly update for The Gray Center Social Understanding Network!

For the last few weeks The SUN News has been looking at the variety of factors that lead to a diagnosis of an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) when they occur together. In the last few weeks, we’ve covered language and communication differences, behaviors/interests/imagination, and sensory integration. This week, we’re looking at the category of social participation. These SUN News articles do not attempt to fully detail the differences present with a diagnosis of autism, but explain the implications of each area as they relate to interactions with people with ASD.

The differences or delays that are typically identified as being in the social participation area include:

- Initiating and/or sustaining a social interaction

- Turn-taking (reciprocal relationships), whether in activities or conversations

- Adherence to own rituals, rules, and routines (this was also discussed previously)

- Difficulty noticing, understanding, or responding effectively to unwritten social rules

- Emotional regulation, and understanding of emotions in others (and responding effectively)

- Theory of Mind (understanding that others have their own ideas, feelings, interests, etc. and using that information to guide interactions with others)

- Peer to peer relationships (often individuals with ASD have an easier time interacting with people much younger or older than they are, especially during childhood and adolescence)

 

ASD is often referred to as a “social disability.” Each of the categories described in the last few weeks has social implications. In fact, usually none of the areas considered “diagnostic criteria” are problems for a person with ASD unless he or she is part of a “social context!” For example, “stimming” (hand-flapping, rocking, flicking fingers in front of one’s face) generally occurs when an individual is responding “authentically” to his or her own context. It typically is perceived as necessary and/or comforting. However, when the individual is in school with classmates, or in a crowded restaurant with other diners, suddenly that response doesn’t work with the people around him or her, and the message is conveyed that he or she should stop, replace the response with something that works better with others, or go away for awhile. If a person with ASD is alone, none of the criteria listed above are issues. It’s only when other people, with their own expectations, experiences, feelings, etc. (or their individual contexts, as described in my Social Response Pyramid) are interacting with people with ASD that their differences cause difficulties for each person in the interaction.

What this means is that we cannot simply point to people with ASD as the cause of breakdowns in communication or other social interactions. The rest of us are both part of the problem, and part of the solution! We can continue to ensure that we understand ourselves and how we contribute (either positively or negatively) to any given interaction, and help individuals with ASD do the same. Nick Dubin, author of “Breaking Through Hidden Barriers,” and a young man with Asperger’s, once told me that he is capable of feeling empathy, but on his own, doesn’t always recognize what others are feeling in order to identify with them. Nick Dubin’s books and DVDs, and numerous other resources are available at www.thegraycenter.org to help promote social understanding. Social coaching (a new service provided through The Gray Center) can also help individuals who are interested in becoming more socially effective.

Best wishes as you continue to participate in social interactions with people with ASD—and to help everyone experience and enjoy social success!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org