Is autism an “epidemic”? Are children “stolen” from their parents through the onset of autism? Are families’ lives “shattered” by the presence of a loved one with this diagnosis?
I’ve heard or read all of the above emotion-laden comments (and many more) over the years. Since April is Autism Awareness Month, in the next several weeks we’ll likely witness a variety of events, news stories, research updates, and reminders of the realities facing families and individuals affected by this diagnosis. The value of increased awareness goes far beyond the one in 150 people who carry the diagnosis. But I hope that we won’t overlook this important truth: that the many children, adolescents, and adults diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders have contributed greatly to the value of individual lives, had tremendous impact on their families, and profound influence on their teachers, classmates, workplaces, and communities.
As we focus again on autism awareness, I wanted to share some of what I have learned from and come to appreciate about people with autism:
1. They have a unique perspective on life. They see things I miss, they question things I take for granted, and they challenge me to consider different ways of understanding life and those around me. My life is richer because of them.
2. They have a more unbiased approach to people and situations. I carry with me my own expectations, memories, and opinions, which cloud or direct the way I approach life. Their tendency to approach people and situations with a “clean slate,” taking them at face value, is something that continues to have a positive influence on me.
3. They contribute to my knowledge base. Because of people with autism, I know more about trains, elevators, animals, dinosaurs, chickens, music, plants, sports statistics, computers, and Pokemon(TM) than I ever would have otherwise. They have “broadened by horizons”—and our society has also benefited greatly from their interests and contributions!
4. They require me to keep thinking and learning. I have been interacting with people with autism spectrum disorders for about fifteen years. I find that the more I know, the more I need to know. The need for flexibility, new approaches, novel ways to help them understand, and a better grasp on how they view the world drives me toward asking them more questions, reading more books, listening to more professionals in the field, talking to other parents, and trying new strategies. I recognize the tremendous value of this pursuit of understanding for both my personal and professional life.
5. They make great friends! I have numerous friends who are people with ASD. They are loyal, dependable, slow to judge or jump to conclusions, funny, and very knowledgeable. Because of them, I have also made wonderful friends who are teachers, parents, grandparents, and others working to promote social understanding all around the world.
I consider it a privilege to know and learn from so many fine people. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to interact with you each week! Please feel free to email me at laurel@thegraycenter.org, or post comments on our blog at http://graycenter.wordpress.com.
Thank you for the work you are doing to raise autism awareness, but more importantly, appreciation for the people who are living with autism, and all those who work on their behalf!
Laurel Falvo, Executive Director
The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding
P.S. You can go to our web site for more information on our upcoming showing of “Autism the Musical,” the Griffins hockey game, and several presentations that I will be giving. On our online calendar, we have a variety of suggestions for raising autism awareness and helping to participate in The Gray Center’s mission. Special thanks to “Therapy Threads,” which recently donated 10% of their sales to The Gray Center. Therapy Threads is a new business which is selling high-quality handmade occupational therapy products and resources such as weighted blankets and games that promote eye-hand coordination. (Go to http://www.therapythreads.com/ for more information, or to purchase products with NO shipping costs). If any other business or organization would like receive special mention by contributing in a similar way, please contact me. We are very thankful for everyone’s support!
Last week I told you about a sign I saw recently, which read, “Change is inevitable…growth is optional.” We looked at the first half of that, and I promised that this week we would reflect on the second half.
All people encounter change on almost a daily basis, whether it’s routine, minute change, or major, life-altering change. We know that people with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) tend to have difficulty dealing with change. However, all people respond differently to change. How one person responds to change will usually depend in part on personality, coping style, other factors the person is dealing with concurrently, past experiences and exposure to change, how the change presents itself, and even a person’s age.
The research I’ve done indicates that responses to change tend to be the same as the responses typically associated with grief. Research varies when describing the different ways of responding to grief or change. But most indicate something similar to the following:
Denial: Refusing to accept the change or the need for change
Anger: Often people will look for someone to blame, and may respond by lashing out at other people—particularly those they choose to blame for the situation, but also others who may be close-by
Bargaining: Trying to find a way around the change, or trying to substitute other options for the proposed change
Depression: Sometimes people are so overwhelmed by change that it drags them down emotionally, and they find it difficult to function even in other areas
Acceptance: Accepting the change, and possibly even feeling empowered by it or enthusiastic about it
Many people believe that the most important aspect of change is how we respond to it. Last week we looked at the need to be flexible so that we can adapt to change. This week we’re looking at how change can prompt us to grow…if we let it.
“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it” (Mary Engelbreit). In other words, there are some changes we can initiate in order to promote progress. When changes are unexpected or unwelcome, we can try to have a positive attitude about them. In fact, we can “Resolve to be a master of change rather than a victim of change” (Brian Tracy) We may not be able to control the situations which force us to think differently about the way we do things, or to respond differently, or those which completely change our circumstances, but we can continue to stay involved in the process in order to help ensure that good can come from it.
Sometimes change can promote emotional growth. When a relationship changes, we learn something about ourselves and may possibly gain skills for maintaining healthy relationships. Other times change can promote financial growth. Many of us are being forced to change our spending habits because of dwindling savings accounts or lost income. With time, we may find that we do a better job of saving, and identify fewer things we “need” to spend money on. Change can also promote professional or intellectual growth. Many of us continue to learn new computer skills as our world depends more on electronic communication, banking, and other services. We may be forced to learn other new skills because of a job change or to help our children adapt to change in classroom instructional techniques. If we can maintain a positive attitude about change, and work to avoid denying, resisting, lashing out at, or being overwhelmed by change, we may find that it helps to bring about many new opportunities for growth!
I’ll close with one final quote on change. Okakura Lakuzo once said, “The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.”
Best wishes to all of you as you face new changes this week. Remember that change can promote progress and growth in our lives and in the lives of those with whom we live and work!
Laurel Falvo, Executive Director
The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding
P.S. Last week I shared with you that The Gray Center has been negatively impacted by the poor economy, and that our nonprofit organization would be forced to change unless you were able to help us financially. Many of you responded by sending in a donation or by donating online at www.thegraycenter.org. We thank you for sharing in our mission and caring about our ability to continue to serve people around the world! Unfortunately, the donations sent in last week totaled only a few hundred dollars. Our staff has spent the week having difficult discussions about changes that need to be made, in spite of the fact that we have always “done much with little,” by being very fiscally responsible and maintaining relatively low overhead. In fact, the majority of money that we receive goes toward providing free phone and email support, and free or low-cost services for people who need them. Because there’s little “extra” that we can trim, we’ll need to make difficult decisions about services which need to be scaled back or associated with a higher fee. We appreciate your continued support and encouragement as we refine our strategies for future growth, and again, if you are able, right now more than ever, we do need your financial assistance!
