Transitioning to a Successful Career

Temple Grandin has been a huge inspiration to me! You may know about her; although she’s widely known and appreciated in the autism community as an author, presenter, and a person with autism, she’s perhaps more widely respected around the world for her work designing livestock facilities. In her book, “Developing Talents: Careers for Individuals with Asperger Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism” (available at www.thegraycenter.org), Temple shares how she went from a childhood struggling with the symptoms associated with autism, to a successful career where she has managed to utilize her tremendous strengths and compensate for her challenges. She begins the introduction to her book with these words:

 

“Whenever I attend autism conferences, I am struck by how many people on the high end of the autism spectrum are either unemployed or underemployed. This really bothers me because working is such an important part of my life. Without work, no matter how big or small the job, life would become small and unsatisfying for me. With work, we discover we can give back to our family and community that have given so much to us.”

 

Temple’s book provides a fabulous blueprint for others seeking to ease the transition from school to work, and includes the following chapters:

 

- Autism Spectrum Disorders and Their Effect in the Workplace

- Easing into the Workplace

- Rules for Success on the Job

- Finding a Vocation you Love

- Searching for an Ideal Job

- Do What You Do Best

- Best Jobs for Individuals on the Autism Spectrum

 

The book contains valuable tips for individuals on the spectrum who are trying to learn ways to locate, attain, and sustain meaningful employment (and for the people working to support them in these endeavors). A few of Temple’s thoughts which stood out to me when reading her book may be helpful to many SUN News readers:

 

1.     Mentors are key to the success of individuals with autism spectrum disorders (ASD). Whether you are a parent, teacher, friend, or employer, your involvement, perseverance, and willingness to “coach” the individual on everything from identifying his or her strengths, to being aware of and compensating for weaknesses, to identifying and successfully navigating unwritten social rules (such as how to dress, what to talk about and with whom, how to handle difficult situations, arriving on time, using time wisely, etc.) can mean the difference between a successful and happy career and a lifetime spent watching television in the privacy of one’s home.

2.     Playing video games in most cases will not prepare an individual for meaningful employment! Temple acknowledges the interest that many individuals have in video games and other technological and/or solitary pursuits, but encourages parents and teachers to steer children and young people toward activities and relationships that will help them develop the skills that they need to be successful in society.

3.     Find and support the individual’s strengths and interests. In Temple’s case, her love of animals and her ability to think in pictures became the avenue to becoming an independent consultant designing humane livestock handling facilities. She acknowledges that in her case, working for herself, taking on the jobs she’s most likely to handle well, and moving on frequently to new customers works better for her than trying to be employed by a particular company doing the same thing and working with the same people every day.

 

People who attended our Gray Center Family Resource Expo on Saturday also received valuable information about transitions from the leader of our sibling groups (and former social coach), Dr. Dale Ranson. Dale reinforced the importance of the following steps for career preparation:

 

1. Begin discussions about an individual’s dreams early in life. Find out where he or she wants to live after school, what jobs are intriguing, what activities he or she likes or feels most comfortable with, etc. On-going discussions help to adjust for changing interests and knowledge about what’s available, what’s feasible, and what’s most likely to be successful.

2. Know the individual’s strengths and weaknesses!

3. Help with self-discovery (so that the individual can be realistic about what’s available and where he or she is most likely to be successful, as well as what he or she needs to do in order to be successful).

4. Stay realistic. Continually focus on the individual’s present level of academic and functional performance to monitor functioning and develop strategies to help. Make sure that goals and activities are designed to support the current level of functioning and to move the student toward continued satisfaction and success.

5. Connect with others who can provide valuable information and support. Young people can benefit from groups with shared interests or even a shared diagnosis. Parents can benefit from talking with other parents who have successfully navigated this stage in life, or are at a similar point in their journey. Ideally, these social connections should begin early in life and continue into (and throughout) adulthood.

 

Transition is a topic that needs to be considered, not only at the point where a student is getting ready to graduate from school and move into the workplace, but throughout childhood and beyond! Hopefully this information will help you as you support individuals in the process of obtaining and maintaining meaningful and satisfying careers!

 

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

 

P.S. You can find both “Developing Talents” and Temple’s book, “Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior” at www.thegraycenter.org. If you have tips you’d like to share about successful transitions, feel free to add those here. If you live in West Michigan, we hope you’ll join The Gray Center this Wednesday, October 1 at the Wealthy Theater in Grand Rapids, at 7:00 p.m. to watch “Today’s Man,” a documentary that focuses on the transition efforts of one young man with Asperger Syndrome. Details are available at www.thegraycenter.org.

The Cost of Holding On

Over the years, I have heard numerous versions of a charming but insightful story about a child whose hand became stuck inside a priceless vase. All attempts to remove the little hand proved fruitless, until finally the expensive vase had to be smashed. When the unhurt hand emerged from the shards of pottery, everyone gathered around could see that inside a tiny fist, the child was proudly clutching a one-cent coin! Obviously, the child’s desire to hang onto that insignificant coin came at tremendous expense, as the irreplaceable, expensive vase was sacrificed for it.

 

Do we sometimes hang onto insignificant ideas, feelings, objects, relationships, beliefs, or possessions? At what cost? I’m not talking about the “big stuff”—our values, ideals, and important relationships, which, like the vase, we would sacrifice only if absolutely necessary (or never). I’m talking about the things that may appear priceless to us, as the penny did to the child, but which have no real value in the greater scheme of things. Sometimes we hold so tightly to petty feelings, grudges, insistence on doing things our own way, our egos, replaceable possessions, “rights,” and relationships, at tremendous cost to other people, to our ability to be successful, and to our own integrity.

 

Perhaps we can gain some perspective by asking ourselves, “Is this like a valuable vase or a one-cent coin?” We might ponder this thought as we enter an IEP meeting, work to determine appropriate discipline for a child, interact with someone who has hurt our feelings, deal with a difficult colleague, or find ourselves participating in a heated discussion.

 

What is the cost of holding on? Would we damage a relationship, the feelings of another person, an opportunity for employment or progress in the classroom, for a “one-cent coin?” Do we have a “mite” which we are holding onto too strongly?

 

Sometimes opening our tightly clutched hand to examine our penny (our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, ideas, etc.) can save both the penny AND the precious vase! That’s the intent of the process of social understanding; to examine all sides of an issue and proceed in a way that is hopefully effective for everyone!

 

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

 

P.S. If you’re in the West Michigan area, we hope you’ll join us this Saturday (September 27) for our FREE Family Resource Expo! We’ll have almost 50 different businesses and organizations represented to share information about their available resources. We’ll have exciting activities for your children, including storytime, face-painting, music, crafts, and martial arts. Adults can attend presentations about brain research, teaching safety to our children, and transitioning to life after school, as well as a panel discussion with young people from our Gray Center groups. Join us at Sunshine Church, 3300 East Beltline NE in Grand Rapids, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.!

A Tribute to Teachers

This is a busy time of year for teachers! After spending weeks getting ready for a new school year, decorating their classrooms, planning lessons, and participating in meetings, they are back in the classroom, greeting our children each day with a smile, and dealing with each new situation as it arises, usually with tremendous dedication and competence.

 

Over the years, I have been privileged to watch about 30 different teachers as they have spent time in the classroom with my own three children. I personally spent time on staff at several different schools when I was a college student and later also a teacher. I know the hours that teachers devote to planning lessons, teaching students, dealing with both wonderful and difficult situations, grading papers, attending meetings, and interacting with parents.

 

Successful schools and successful students can usually point to a great teacher or collection of teachers to help explain their progress and their ability to have a positive impact on a family, classroom, or community.

 

I know that many people are aware of the difference a good teacher can make in the life of an individual. But I think that perhaps there is no one who can benefit more from such a relationship than an individual with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD)! Often those with ASD are accustomed to being misunderstood, under-appreciated, and suffering not only from a long list of challenges, but also from a lack of opportunities and of self-esteem. A good teacher can make all the difference! A teacher can set the stage for peers to be accepting and helpful toward those who struggle. A teacher can utilize a student’s strengths while also addressing his or her areas of weakness. A teacher can be a bright spot in a sometimes otherwise dark and difficult life for a student and his or her family. A teacher can help a student believe in a future full of possibilities, and help prepare that student to fully realize his or her own potential!

 

It has been a privilege for me to hear numerous success stories over the years, of teachers who made an incredible difference in the lives of their students. I’m very thankful for all of the wonderful teachers out there who have had a positive impact on my own children’s lives, as well as the lives of people around the world.

 

I hope you’ll take a moment to thank a teacher this week! A hand-written note, or even an email or small gift for your child’s teacher, a teacher in your neighborhood, or a teacher who impacted your own life long ago, can be a treasure for someone working hard to make a difference through the use of his or her time and talents. You might also want to purchase a book or other resource for the teachers in your life, to help them with their work. The Gray Center is featuring a SALE this week on all of the items in our “Teacher Resources” category at www.thegraycenter.org. This includes more than 60 different books and DVDs! If you would like to write a tribute to a teacher in your life, feel free to use this blog for that.

 

Thank you to all of the wonderful teachers around the world who are making a difference each and every day! You are greatly appreciated!

 

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

 

P.S. This week The Gray Center will be showing “Autism the Musical” at our Lakeshore location. Details for this and other upcoming events (including our September 27 Family Resource Expo, other movies, and a March 17, 2009 spring conference) are available on our web site.

A Story of Renewal and Hope

A dark-haired woman appears at the door, hesitates a moment, and then enters the small office. With a questioning look in her eye, she turns as an employee greets her with a friendly, “May I help you?” The visitor replies that she hopes someone here might be able to help her. You see, she has a son with autism. She’s struggling with some ongoing behaviors with the young boy, in addition to facing resistance from a school district at odds with her opinion of her son’s needs, and extended family members who are critical of her parenting, decision-making, and future goals for herself and her child. She is led to a comfortable chair while she pours out additional details to her story. Occasionally, she breaks down, crying softly as she recalls painful conversations, criticisms, and situations and senses anew the hopelessness which brought her to this place. The employee gives her an encouraging smile and patiently waits for the visitor to continue. Finally, after about 30 minutes, she gets to the main reason for her visit as she pleads, “Can you help me?”

 

The conversation continues for another hour as the employee leads the visitor toward helpful books, names of relevant professionals, businesses, and organizations, and suggestions from her own experience that may help this mother develop new strategies for interacting with her son, his school, and their relatives.

 

Tears no longer glisten on the visitor’s face as she eagerly asks for more information. Mentally, she begins charting a new course for herself and her son—away from the dark tunnel which led her here, toward the light of a brighter tomorrow. After thanking her compassionate helper, she exits the office armed with a few books, several new strategies, and a heart full of gratitude and hope!

 

Who is this visitor? Perhaps she is you, or someone much like you; one of the many visitors who visit, call, or email The Gray Center each day seeking a listening ear, compassionate support, and valuable information that will guide them on their way.

 

Who is the employee who changed this visitor’s life? It is one of The Gray Center’s own. Our small staff commits our time, talents, and creative energy to The Gray Center’s mission of promoting social understanding, of changing lives one at a time. It’s what we’re here for; it’s what we do.

 

Our visitor had no appointment. She talked as long as she needed to, without being rushed out to make room for another visitor. We asked for no reimbursement for services or time rendered. How can we make such a positive impact without charging a fee? It’s only through YOU! Your donations, book purchases, and conference or workshop attendance enable The Gray Center to continue its life-changing work on a daily basis, without excluding those unable to pay or placing further financial burdens on those who already face increasing medical, educational, and therapy expenses.

 

Will you take a moment to go to our web site at www.thegraycenter.org to make a donation to support our work through your financial gifts? If you prefer, you can send your contributions to The Gray Center, 4123 Embassy Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, MI  49546.

 

You can also peruse the items in our online bookstore at www.thegraycenter.org. This week, we are running a SALE on all resources produced or published by The Gray Center. Your purchases also benefit our programs for individuals with ASD!

 

YOU are making a life-changing difference in the lives of individuals and families around the world! We–and they—appreciate your support!

 

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

 

NOTE: The Gray Center has always made a commitment to helping people access the information and support they need. One way we do that is through our “Community Network,” which connects a variety of community businesses and organizations (and updates on the services they have available) through regular email updates. This resource is posted on our web site for everyone to view. Another way we do this is through our annual “Family Resource Expo” which provides ready access to about 50 of these “vendors,” as well as activities for children, and presentations for adults. Our next Expo will be held on Saturday, September 27, 2008, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., at Sunshine Community Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. This event is FREE for everyone! More information is available on our web site at www.thegraycenter.org. Last year we had over 500 people attend our first Expo. We hope you’ll join us this year for an exciting day of learning, networking, and fun activities!

Preparing to Fly

When I was a child, my house had a front light post that closely resembled a bird cage. Apparently the neighborhood birds agreed, since every spring, we would watch a mother robin build or remodel an existing nest in the wrought iron structure. Soon we would see glimpses of two to four delicate bright blue eggs. Eventually, under the watchful eye and patient tending of the mother, they hatched into helpless little beaks opening wide to the expanse above, eagerly awaiting the dinner they knew their mother would soon provide. As the baby birds gained strength, it was obvious that they would soon be moving out of the nest and venturing out on their own. One day, the mother would begin encouraging each little one to test its wings and fly. Before long, after a bit of practice, and following the mother’s lead, the little ones were led across the road before flying off in separate directions to begin their new life.

 

One year, as the baby birds were venturing farther from the nest, it became obvious that their mother had not returned from her recent travels. The baby robins appeared disoriented as they wandered around in the road. As my family and I watched, a very surprising thing happened! A sparrow flew down, and patiently guided the fledglings across the road!

 

I am able to see some similarities between a devoted mother bird and the way that I am parenting my own children. From the day my children were born, I have been aware that I am raising them to eventually head out on their own. In addition to protecting them, my role as their parent is to give them “wings,” and prepare them to “fly!” As I navigate daily life with them, I try to view each situation we encounter in light of the bigger picture, asking myself, “What lesson can this teach them that will help as they become more independent?” And also, “What is the core skill or strategy that they need to learn here in order to be successful?” I have often focused on basic but important concepts such as identifying and participating in healthy relationships, asking for help, coping constructively with stress, taking turns, apologizing, planning, prioritizing, and respecting others. I’m trying to give them tools that will help them manage finances responsibly, complete tasks in a timely manner (and ensure that they are well-done), find resources to aid in problem-solving, and build strong relationships with others. Although it is tempting to shelter them or keep them close to me, I am able to continue to encourage them to spread their wings by focusing on my desire that they will be able to function as successfully as possible as adults.

 

Admittedly, my own abilities, experience, and available time are not always adequate for the task at hand. I am thankful for the “sparrows” who gently help to guide my children. We can count a long list of teachers, friends, family members, counselors, and neighbors who have stepped in along the way to provide valuable guidance and practical assistance. We are learning to look for those individuals in our lives, to express gratitude to them, and to anticipate that there will always be such people to turn to as needs change on this road we’re traveling. (This is the concept of “interdependence,” about which I wrote a few weeks ago.)

 

Whether you are a parent, a professional, or a person on the autism spectrum, you can also be a “sparrow,” guiding and assisting others along the road toward success! Sometimes it’s as simple as looking for those who are floundering, seemingly lost or unsure of the direction they should be heading. Often our patient, supportive presence can be enough to move them along to the next step of their journey!

 

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

 

P.S. We have numerous books, CDs and DVDs available in our bookstore at www.thegraycenter.org  which can provide helpful strategies and information for parents, professionals, siblings, people with ASD, and friends who are working to promote social understanding. One way of providing practical support for others is to give them a copy of the booklet, “ASD to Z.” Newly revised, this resource provides basic information, support, and hope for those dealing with an autism spectrum disorder, serving as a starting point for those new to the diagnosis. This week you can purchase copies of this resource for only $2 each! We hope this booklet will give you a specific opportunity to be a “helpful sparrow” to someone in your life!