Team Members
Those of you who play organized sports know the importance of being a good team member. Even those who do not spend time on an athletic field can learn a lot about life from the basic tenets of team sports.
Whether we are a member of a family, a class, a staff, a congregation, a neighborhood, or any other group, we need to be good team members. Here are some of the important criteria:
1. Play by the rules. No one fits well with a team if he or she is playing by his or her own rules, or makes up rules as they go. Others have expectations for us, whether we’re doing household chores, completing a homework assignment, working on a group project, sitting through a classroom lecture, sharing an office, or listening to music in our own room while others are in the house. Some “teams” have written rules, others have spoken or unspoken rules. It’s our responsibility to know the rules and to consider how our ability and desire to hold ourselves accountable to those rules affects others on our team. Rules help everyone work toward –and achieve–a common goal!
2. Share the spotlight. It can be tempting to take the credit when something goes well, or to pass along the blame when it doesn’t. However, other members of our team are eager to hear some praise from us, and to receive apologies when needed. Good team members share the joys and responsibilities of life with those around them.
3. Know your purpose. In sports, a person needs to know what position he or she plays, and the purpose of his or her role, as well as the goal of the activity. In life, we need to know our own strengths, responsibilities, and purpose to ensure that our jobs are getting done, our relationships are being maintained, and our personal health and integrity are enhanced. Just like athletics, the whole team benefits when each team member is performing his or her tasks to the best of their ability.
4. Be willing to be benched. Whether at the will of a coach, or by the rules of the game, an athlete is occasionally sent out of the field or court while his or her teammates take over. In life, whether we’re taking turns or compromising with others, learning to accept constructive criticism, being “benched” by illness or injury, being laid off due to the economy or an incompatibility between our abilities and the needs of others, we all occasionally are required to sit on the sidelines rather than being in the middle of the action. Patience, perseverance, and a willingness to continue to cheer on our “teammates” are valuable attributes at these times! We can also use these times on the sidelines constructively, as a time to rest, reflect, and learn.
5. Focus on responsibility rather than entitlement. Even if you’re the parent, the boss, or the manager, a good team member pitches in when there’s work to be done. This means taking out the trash, picking up dirty laundry, and attending to the needs of those around us. Power and prestige mean so much more when they’re accompanied by the respect of those who work alongside and support us. This is often achieved by a grateful and giving attitude toward others, regardless of our position.
Some people seem to pick up on life’s team rules rather intuitively. Others may need specific instruction (and frequent reminders). Fortunately for them, there are some excellent resources that can help! Individuals working with younger children can make use of the beautiful children’s books written by Cheri Meiners. Titles include, “Join in and Play,” “Listen and Learn,” and “Share and Take Turns,” among others. A great resource for parents and teachers of younger children is “Achieving Best Behavior,” by Pamela Lewis. Other resources that can be helpful regardless of your target audience are those by Michelle Garcia Winner, Jeanette McAfee, Brenda Smith Myles, Kari Dunn Buron, and Carol Gray. All of these resources, and many more, can be found at www.thegraycenter.org. (You can use the search feature to find specific books or DVDs).
Are you a good team member? I’d like to challenge each of us to reflect on our own participation on various “teams,” and to take our reflection a step further by asking those around us what we do well, and what we could do better. We can take what we learn, and apply it to a personal “game plan” that enables us to become stellar team members!
Best wishes in your teamwork at home, school, and in the workplace and community!
Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director
The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding
www.thegraycenter.org
P.S. Thank you for teaming with us to promote social understanding! Your donations and purchases, as well as your involvement through www.iGive.com are enabling us to continue to provide information and support to those living with autism spectrum disorders (ASD).
