Archive for November, 2007

Social Stories(TM) Around the World

Posted November 23, 2007
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I’m posting this issue of SUN News early. Next week I will be in New York for two speaking engagements. I will be presenting on The Social Response Pyramid(TM) and/or Social Stories(TM) for two different organizations.

I thought this would be a good opportunity for a refresher course on Social Stories(TM). First, questions about what a Social Story(TM) is, how it is written, how it is used, etc. can be answered through Carol Gray’s “Social Stories(TM) 10.0,” available for purchase as a download on our web site at http://www.thegraycenter.org/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display&product_id=69. This resource contains the complete guidelines and criteria for writing a Social Story(TM).

Often in my work with The Gray Center I see that people need help recognizing what ISN’T a Social Story(TM). First, if you’re tempted to purchase a “social story” on a web site which offers to create a story for your child for a fee, or sells collections of stories they’ve written–whether or not they claim to use Carol Gray’s guidelines–these are not likely Social Stories(TM). Carol Gray has written two books containing collections of Social Stories(TM), “My Social Stories Book” and “The New Social Story Book: Illustrated Edition.” The Gray Center produced two years’ worth of “The Social Stories Quarterly” which contain Social Stories(TM) and Social Articles(TM) (for older or more advanced audiences). All of these resources are available on our web site. We provide some Social Story(TM) samples free of charge on our web site. We are available to help review Stories that others have written, but rarely write Stories for others, since the philosophy behind the tool dictates that the best authors are those who know their audience well. If we do help write a Story, we do not sell it for a profit, but provide this to parents and professionals as a service.

If you read a story and any of the following are true, then it is possible that the story is not a Social Story(TM):

1) it sounds more like a “to do” list than a source of helpful information and suggestions; 2) you sense that it was written with a sole focus on eradicating a problem behavior;

3) it seems as if the goal of the story is to just get a child to comply with an adult’s rules or expectations;

4) it contains negated verbs (i.e. not…);

5) there are first person statements - i.e. statements written in the child’s “voice”- that refer to a child’s mistake or negative behavior (the combination resulting in a self-depreciating statement);

6) it contains second person statements;

7) it contains the word “should”;

8.) you realize the stories for this child always provide new information, never applaud what the child currently does well;

9) there are statements that, if they were interpreted literally, would not be accurate or true, and/or

10) the title identifies a desired behavior, as in, “I Sit Quietly in my Desk.”

If written according to the guidelines and criteria developed by Carol Gray, Stories will have a positive, respectful, reassuring quality, and will provide missing information to ensure social understanding, not rote compliance. In addition, half of all Stories written for an individual must applaud something that person currently does well.

You’ll notice that references to Social Stories are followed by the trademark symbol (TM). Carol Gray, as the developer of this valuable tool, has the right to trademark. She welcomes assistance in sharing information about Social Stories(TM) through college theses, newsletter articles, school in-services, etc. However, only Carol Gray, her “Writing Social Stories(TM) with Carol Gray” DVD, the “Social Stories(TM) 10.0″ mentioned previously, and members of “Team Social Stories(TM)” can be utilized as formal training to learn to write Social Stories(TM). Those approved Team members are listed on our web site. This protocol is followed to ensure that parents and professionals are getting the proper training to develop and utilize Social Stories(TM) in a way that benefits the individuals for whom they’re written, and to maintain the integrity of the tool. More information about the trademark can be found on our web site.

Finally, if you know of research articles written about Social Stories(TM), we hope you’ll send them to us! We know from the many people who contact The Gray Center that Social Stories(TM) are making a positive difference in the lives of individuals around the world. But we also know that schools and other organizations are eager to see the empirical data which supports their use, and we’d love to be able to continue to share that with them as it’s developed.

Have a wonderful weekend! Although I will be away from my computer for several days, our Gray Center staff will be available to assist you. You can contact Gray Center staff, and find out more about Social Stories(TM) and other Gray Center resources on our web site at www.thegraycenter.org.

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. Special thanks to Carol Gray for her assistance in reviewing this article. To help you in your pursuit of Social Stories(TM) to use and/or adapt for your audience, we’re running a SALE on all Social Stories(TM) resources for the next several days! Go to www.thegraycenter.org for complete details.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Posted November 19, 2007
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This coming Thursday we’ll be celebrating “Thanksgiving Day” in the United States. With this holiday comes an opportunity to reflect on our many blessings, and to acknowledge those who have been the source of some of those blessings!

I am incredibly thankful for the 6500 people who receive this SUN News article each week (as well as those who view it via this blog)! We don’t purchase mailing lists–every one of you receives my weekly email because you subscribed to it on our web site, or purchased resources from us and indicated you’d like to receive updates from the Gray Center. YOU are a huge part of our ability to provide information and support around the world. Thank you for your partnership with The Gray Center! And thank you, also, for making a difference for so many individuals and families around the world through the work that you do in the home, school, workplace, and community!

Personally, I am extremely grateful to God, who has enabled me to use my gifts to serve others in this capacity. I am also thankful for my colleagues at The Gray Center: Alisa Duthler, Robin Easley, Christy Gast, Marcia Hill, Ann Mary Dykstra, Karen Hilverda, Jane Krug, Nelson Grit, and Dale Ranson, as well as our committed board members, Ken Tiews, Brian and Carol Gray, Bruce Mills, Susan Judd, Willie Wallis, Jake Bosmeijer, and Angela Telfer! These hard-working individuals are deeply committed to our mission of promoting social understanding.

I am greatly indebted to my three children, for their support for me as well as my work for The Gray Center (they can often be found packing orders or helping with various tasks in our office!). And I know that supportive families are behind each of my colleagues, too. We couldn’t do it without you, loved ones! (Please note that our staff will be spending time with family this week, so we have reduced office hours. You can check our online calendar at www.thegraycenter.org to know when to call us or stop in for a visit).How can we teach our children to have an “attitude of gratitude” rather than a sense of entitlement, or a tendency to grumble over what they don’t have? We can start by modeling sincere gratitude, as well as encouraging our children to identify those things for which they are grateful. (A great way to do that is to have them hand-write “thank you” cards–or create pictures–for gifts they’ve received!) We can also ensure that they occasionally work to earn possessions and rewards, rather than always being handed what they want. Sometimes it helps to expose them to “going without”–whether that’s delaying personal gratification by waiting to get an item that they want, or by working to help those who have less than they do. (How about giving toys to homeless shelters, or earning money to give food to a nearby food pantry? One book in our bookstore encourages this giving spirit. It’s called, “Reach Out and Give,” by Cheri Meiners. You can find it here: http://www.thegraycenter.org/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display&product_id=96). If you have other ideas, please post those here!

Thank you all, and best wishes for a blessed Thanksgiving Day, whether you celebrate it with turkey and stuffing, or simply with gratitude for your own blessings!

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. From now through Thursday, all of our children’s books will be on SALE at www.thegraycenter.org, including the title listed above! Note that this category in our online store includes an extensive selection of books and CDs for kids, as well as resources for parents and professionals who work with children! This is a great time to stock up on gifts for the children, teachers, or parents in your life!

Contentment

Posted November 12, 2007
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I’m not sure who is responsible for changing the sign in front of my church, but last week’s quote was particularly timely. It stated simply, “A contented person is one who enjoys the scenery on a detour.” My kids and I first saw the sign while driving home mid-week. We had been on our way to go out to eat, when one of my kids shut our van door on his finger. Since he was understandably upset, as well as quite uncomfortable, we were heading back home to get ice on his finger and to rustle up something to eat from the cupboard. We were definitely on a detour, and the discussions in our van before we spotted the sign weren’t exactly focused on the scenery–nor could we be described as content!

After reading the sign, we talked about how we could be content in spite of our disappointment and pain. We remarked that we were thankful that my son’s finger didn’t appear to be broken, and that we could head home instead of to the emergency room. We were also thankful that we knew that there would be food to eat at home, even if it wasn’t what we hoped to eat that night. And we were thankful for the beautiful colors on the trees along the way, for the van we were traveling in (which does have a sticker on the door stating, “CAUTION: Look carefully for hands before closing”), and for the time we had together as a family.

Are you on a detour? Perhaps you didn’t expect to have a child with autism, and your detour has become a long-term, life-changing event. Maybe you’re experiencing another significant detour, with a change of jobs, health, marital status or other relationships, or a move to a new location. Your detour may be relatively short-term, in the form of a temporary illness, an unexpected change of plans, or a day that simply isn’t going the way you planned.

We know that transitions are generally very difficult for individuals with autism spectrum disorders, or ASD. (And if we’re honest with ourselves, sometimes they’re not very easy or pleasant for us, either!) Advanced warning, visual cues, Social Stories(TM), and other strategies can lessen the blow, and help those with ASD to adjust to a change in their environment or schedule. But like my son’s injured hand last week, we can’t always plan for life’s detours!

In Michigan, we often jokingly say that there are two seasons: Winter, and Construction! Since road repair projects take place whenever weather allows, traffic detours are often an issue. I think life throws us many detours, too! We have plans for how we’ll spend our time, and what our future holds, but we usually spend more time on detours than we do operating according to our best-laid plans!

Sometimes the best strategy when dealing with detours is to enjoy the scenery! Look for the little blessings along the way. Notice the silver lining in the dark clouds. Take time to enjoy your kids, to be thankful for your job, to seize opportunities to meet new people or try new things, and to appreciate all that today brings. Your ability to be content in spite of the circumstances can also have a powerful effect on others around you!

I hope that regardless of the detours you may currently be experiencing, that you’ll find contentment in enjoying the scenery along the way!

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org P.S. Our staff has encountered some frustrating detours recently with our email capabilities. One hazard of having a large international web site and receiving hundreds of emails each day is that we also receive thousands of spam messages! We are testing a new spam program, which initially screened out even our staff messages to each other (as well as our messages to ourselves!) If you send a message but don’t receive a reply within a few days, please feel free to write again. As always, we attempt to respond to your emails in as timely a manner as possible!

The Little Engine that Could

Posted November 5, 2007
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There is a beloved children’s book which over the years has become a classic in the United States. The book, “The Little Engine that Could,” by Watty Piper, tells of a train that needs to be pulled over a mountain to bring toys to all the children. Various large engines are unable to complete the task, before a little engine successfully chugs and strains to the tune of, “I-THINK-I-can…” all the way to its destination! (You can visit Wikipedia to learn more about this book and its history).

The Gray Center is much like the train cars which need to get over the mountain. We have great resources, and we know that people all over the world eagerly await the information and support which we’re poised to provide. Yet on our own, we simply cannot get to our destination! We have a small staff of just six part-time people, and our supportive board of directors is also little in number. We do not receive any government funds, nor have we received any large private grants. Fortunately, we have a little engine with a “can-do attitude”–YOU!

Sometimes you may wonder what one person can do to make a difference. We have an answer to that–you can do a LOT!

Every small effort adds up to a tremendously successful outcome, as your donation dollars, book purchases, conference registrations, volunteer hours, and words of encouragement help us to provide the following services:

- FREE phone and email support, and a growing informational web site, available to people all over the world

- The development of NEW resources for promoting social understanding, such as our DVDs by Michelle Garcia Winner, Laurel Hoekman, Sondra Williams, and Nick Dubin (all are available at www.thegraycenter.org).

- Social Understanding GROUPS to encourage girls and boys who meet regularly for social skills support and an opportunity to meet others with similar gifts and challenges -NETWORKS to help parents, grandparents, siblings, individuals with ASD, and community organizations network with each other to meet their needs and to promote social understanding- A growing lending library to meet the needs of local individuals, families, and classrooms

- The establishment of an endowment fund in honor of Sondra Williams, which will help to provide practical support for individuals with ASD (watch www.thegraycenter.org for future information about this exciting endeavor!)

Have you benefited from The Gray Center in the last year? Please consider becoming a financial partner to enable us to continue to provide information and support for those working to promote social understanding! (Unless you choose to remain anonymous, your name will be listed with our other financial supporters on our SUN web page!) We can’t do it without you! Please take a moment to go to http://www.thegraycenter.org/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display&Product_ID=161 , click “add to cart,” and update the cart with the dollar amount you would like to contribute. Every donation, whether $1, $5, $25, or $500, is greatly appreciated!Thank you for your continued support and partnership with our nonprofit organization! With your help, we not only “THINK” we can, we “KNOW” we can accomplish great things!

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. Remember that the “little” things you do in the home, school, workplace, and community to promote social understanding also help to accomplish great things!