Integrating Sensory and Social

It is likely you have heard of sensory integration. In a few words, sensory integration is the brain’s ability to process information taken in through the senses to screen out unnecessary input and “make sense of the rest” to aid in decision-making and appropriate responses to and interactions with our environment. But what does sensory integration have to do with social understanding?

When in a crowded room, whether it’s a classroom, gymnasium, restaurant, or store, a person with sensory integration difficulties may not be able to focus on just one thing. Instead, his or her senses are bombarded by all the surrounding sights, sounds, sensations, and smells. Rather obvious social implications accompany an inability to focus on a private conversation, or the instructions of a teacher in the front of the room, or the calls of a referee.

People who experience various sensations very keenly—whether it’s temperature, tags in clothing or clothing textures, or the firmness of touch—will encounter social difficulties when they are required to dress in a manner that is uncomfortable for them, or when they get jostled in line while waiting for the bank teller or the drinking fountain. Difficulties with the proprioceptive system can cause individuals to use too much force to close a door or to tap a friend on the shoulder. We’ve likely all experienced occasional negative effects of this either at home, school, or in the workplace!

And the compelling need that some of these individuals have to move– or to experience as many sensations as possible in a short amount of time (or, conversely, to avoid these things at all costs)–can affect the social interactions of these individuals as well as those around them.

While we work to teach social understanding, sometimes individuals have all the information and “rules” needed to carry out a social task, but they simply cannot provide adequate or appropriate responses due to the fact that their brains and bodies are focused on immediate sensory input and needs instead. A true social understanding approach will take into consideration the effect that difficulty with sensory processing has on behaviors and responses.

For help understanding and responding to sensory integration dysfunction, The Gray Center has expanded its sensory integration offerings at www.thegraycenter.org/shop.

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director
The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding laurel@thegraycenter.org

P.S. The Gray Center is working on producing some new resources for parents and professionals! Soon we will be unveiling our new web site! Next month, we will be producing two new DVDs with Michelle Garcia Winner. Watch our web site for the arrival of “Growing up Social: Exploring How Social Communication Develops…and Strategies to Help!” and “Social Behavior Mapping!” These promise to be as exciting and helpful as Michelle’s many other resources, all of which are available at www.thegraycenter.org!

Important but not urgent?

How do you spend your time? If you’re like most people, a great portion of your day is spent “putting out fires.” While only firefighters do that literally, the rest of us do it figuratively, as we deal with urgent issues that demand our immediate attention. Decisions need to be made, problems crop up, unexpected changes throw our plans off-track as we struggle to keep up with the demands of our home and work life. Deadlines seem to whiz by at dizzying speeds. When we can, we snatch moments of more peaceful activities, some of which allow our minds to switch into “neutral.” This may be accomplished through watching television, playing video games, going for a walk, reading a good book, or taking a nap.

Author and speaker Stephen Covey further divided our daily activities into four categories: Urgent and Important, Not Urgent but Important, Urgent but Not Important, and Not Urgent AND Not Important (“First Things First,” Simon and Schuster, 1994). The “urgent” things practically scream at us as they demand our attention. Whether or not they’re important, we busy ourselves attending meetings, answering phone calls and e-mails, chasing to appointments, and averting or dealing with crises. Is it any wonder that whenever possible, we indulge in “escape” activities and “time wasters” to soothe our frazzled nerves and allow ourselves temporarily to climb off the virtual rollercoaster of life?

Yet in the midst of all that, one category in particular tends to get overlooked. There are many things in life that are Important, but not Urgent. What falls into that category in your life? Eating dinner as a family? Consulting with an attorney to ensure that your will or estate planning are in order? Taking time to exercise? Going out for coffee with a friend? Sending a note to a lonely neighbor or relative? Whatever it is, remember that although it isn’t demanding your attention, and perhaps could be put off for a long time, it is still very important.

Here’s my challenge to you this week: Identify something “important” in your life that has been tabled far too long due to the fact that it isn’t urgent. Schedule a time this week to deal with it! Plan a family dinner, taking time to discuss important details of each person’s week. (Make sure the television is off while you eat!) Pick up the phone and schedule an appointment to talk with your attorney. Grab the dog’s leash and set out for a long walk. Call that friend and arrange to meet for coffee later in the week. Pull out a pen and paper to write a note, or send an email to someone who could use encouragement or a friendly word. Set aside some of the “not urgent/not important” activities that tend to take up a disproportionate amount of time, and commit to tackling a more important list, at least for a few minutes.

While you’re at it, take time to talk to your children or students about the decision you’re making. Help them to understand the value of engaging in an important activity, even when it’s not urgent.

I hope you’ll be glad you did!

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

Why They Do What They Do

Last week my SUN News article detailed three steps to promoting social understanding. Step one focused on understanding ourselves, and making sure that we “make sense” to those around us. Step two focused on understanding others. This may be a difficult step for those of you living and working with individuals with autism spectrum disorders (ASD)! 

Frequently in past issues of the SUN News I’ve quoted from my Page-A-Day calendar. Here is another quote I encountered this past spring while using that resource: “Try to understand why people do what they do. They have their reasons even if we don’t know what they are.” 

Have you ever thought about that with respect to individuals with ASD? We are quick to view their comments, silences, meltdowns, and actions as meaningless, unanticipated, inappropriate, or even defiant. Yet I believe that if or when they are able to process and to voice explanations for their actions, they usually have very valid reasons for them!  

What then causes them to do what they do? Here are some possible explanations: 

1. Sensory processing. Each of us is constantly bombarded by sensory information. What our brains do with that information can vary widely, and can produce just as wide a variety of responses! But frequently those responses are perfectly valid given the way that our brains processed the input. Do you perceive a noise as painful? It makes sense that you would cover your ears, run from the noise, or try to drown it out in another manner. Are you adverse to certain sensations? Then it seems appropriate that you would avoid getting your hands dirty (and any tasks that would lead in that direction), or refuse to wear particular clothing, or react abruptly (or even forcefully) to distasteful touch. These responses make even more sense when paired with some of the following explanations. 

2. Being motivated by special interests. Individuals with ASD typically have an area (or areas) of intense interest, to the exclusion of others. They may ignore or refuse other topics or activities, not to be rude or disobedient, but because they are more interested in –or feel compelled to follow–opportunities to pursue or engage in their special interest. 

3. Inability to glean from external assistance. The nature of their diagnosis makes it difficult for individuals with ASD to learn from past experience, to establish a connection between rewards, consequences, and their behavior, or to ask for help from others.  

4. Misinterpretation of language or the social environment. ASD often causes individuals to interpret things literally, to miss intended meanings, to overlook or misunderstand social expectations, and to incorrectly process what they hear (auditory processing) or see. Their lack of information or experience may also make it difficult for them to anticipate how others will respond, or to communicate how they are feeling or what they are thinking. 

5. Unique personality traits and characteristics of their age and maturity level. Sometimes people “do what they do” because they are young and inexperienced, or because their personality dictates that they are more extroverted or introverted. Many years ago Carol Gray wrote an excellent article entitled, “Honey, I Shrunk the Syndrome.” It was a great reminder that many of the behaviors that we observe in individuals with ASD cannot–and should not–be attributed to their diagnosis. Sometimes they may make an inappropriate choice, or an immature decision, or take an uncalculated risk, just because they’re human. Let’s face it–haven’t we all “been there, done that” many times over? 

If we keep an open mind, and make a true effort to understand why those around us do what they do, we will make great strides in our efforts at promoting social understanding. My quoted calendar entry ended with these words, “When we try to understand why people do what they do, we have more compassion.” What a great goal–to become more compassionate parents, teachers, administrators, therapists, doctors, neighbors, and friends through our efforts to better understand ourselves and others! 

Laurel Hoekman, Executive DirectorThe Gray Center for Social Learning and Understandingwww.thegraycenter.org  

Social Understanding: No “one size fits all” here!

Social skills often masquerade as a “one size fits all” panacea for which we can develop and enforce a list of rules and regulations. But like a T-shirt that hangs on one person’s frame or stretches to cover another, an approach based on listing and teaching “social skills” is likely to fall short of the social needs of individuals.  

A social skills approach may be eager to instruct students to “make eye contact” with others. But if students lack the social understanding to use eye contact effectively, they will miss important social cues about the thoughts, feelings, and intent of others. They may convey rudeness to those with whom they are interacting if they appear to be staring, or if they fail to avert their eyes when it would be socially appropriate to do so. 

Social skills training may teach an individual that it is socially acceptable to give compliments to others. Yet if social understanding is not encouraged, this individual may give the same compliment to everyone he or she meets, not taking into account the appropriateness of the occasion, the compliment, or the audience. 

Many teachers and parents identify a need to teach students how to approach others to play on the playground or be included in a classroom activity. Looking for an easy-to-implement process, they hope to provide a recipe for these individuals to walk up to a group, say the magic words to join in with the others, and enjoy a successful and productive interaction. Yet if peers are not prepared for possible awkward attempts at interacting, or if an individual with ASD does not grasp (or agree with) the value of interacting with others, whatever “magic words” are spoken are not likely to produce the desired effect. Instead, repeated failure convinces the individual that attempting to join others is not worthwhile, and reinforces negative expectations of his or her peers.  

How then do we teach social understanding? Many experts have tackled this subject very successfully. Notable authors include Carol Gray, Michelle Garcia Winner, Brenda Smith Myles, Kari Dunn Buron, and Catherine Faherty, just to name a few! Although there are many helpful techniques and approaches, I believe there are some very basic premises which should always be applied:  

1. Evaluate and re-evaluate how and why we do what we do. (Does it make sense? Is there a better way? Do others perceive this the same way we do, or are there other interpretations?) Social understanding starts with understanding ourselves and being open to productive and creative change when necessary! 

2. Work to understand the individuals with whom we live, study, and work. When an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is part of the equation, it is important to have a working knowledge of the differences and delays involved, as well as potential strengths. But it is even more crucial to know the individual–personality, likes, dislikes, manner of engaging with the world, current understanding of various aspects of life, etc. (This topic will be further addressed in next Monday’s issue of SUN News!) 

3. Work to help others understand themselves and the world around them. Again, when ASD is involved, we can help these individuals understand how they process information, how they may view life differently than others, and how they can set and reach goals in spite of–or because of–their diagnosis. If we have been successful with Step One, we can also help others understand how and why we do what we do. 

An emphasis on “social understanding” instead of “social skills” helps to ensure that we are more genuinely involved in others’ lives, and not just “going through the motions.” I believe it also presents increased opportunities for success and happiness, as well as better relationships, for all who are truly committed to promoting social understanding.  

Best wishes as YOU work to promote social understanding in your corner of the world! If you’d like to share your own ideas or experiences regarding this topic, you may do so here.

Laurel Hoekman, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org