Gray Center SUN News

Tips for Evaluating Opportunities (and Feb. contest)

February 8, 2010
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Throughout the lifetime of a child with ASD, parents are often faced with the question of where to send them to school, what activities to enroll them in, etc. Sometimes this question is sparked by a natural transition such as the child turning a certain age. Other times it may be sparked by a move to a new location, or a negative experience at one place, requiring a change to something more suitable.

The following suggestions for evaluating options were provided by various moms who are friends of The Gray Center:

–Remember that one school district, school, teacher, or activity may be optimal for one child, and not a good fit for another. It is often helpful to talk with other parents to find out more about their experiences, but keep in mind that each impression is unique to that child, family, district, school, and teacher.

— Remember that parents have the twin tools of intuition and knowledge of their children. No one knows your child better than you do. If a school or activity doesn’t “feel” right, it probably won’t be right for your son or daughter. Let that feeling guide you.

— It’s always helpful to visit several school districts or programs within a district (and look at charter and private schools, too) and various locations for activities, depending on the options available. Be open to everything — even options that might not seem readily apparent. One mother sent her son with ASD to a school that specialized in educating children who are deaf. It was the best fit for him because of his auditory processing issues. It also is helpful to have a friend or your spouse accompany you on visitations as you explore your options. Sometimes it may be helpful to find a school or district, or activity provider where specialized training has been made available to the teachers and staff, so that they are more likely to be familiar with your child’s needs and available strategies for meeting those needs.

— Your child’s needs and abilities are constantly changing. A program that fits those needs one year may not be a great fit the next. Consider what the child needs to succeed: Paraprofessional support? Assistive technology? A peer-to-peer social program? Sometimes an adapted curriculum using the Internet for research can be helpful. Using a computer is absolutely necessary for some when they struggle with handwriting. These issues all vary from student to student, and need to be addressed.

— Be aware of your child’s strengths as well as the areas in which he or she needs help. When sensory issues are present, the school environment is as important as the people who are working with a child. You can observe the noise levels at potential venues to determine whether the environment is conducive to your child’s needs. Depending on the school or activity, a student with ASD might be allowed to leave a class five minutes earlier or later to avoid the congestion in the hall. These accommodations are all within the legal range of what you can respectfully request — and expect to receive.

— When examining educational options, enlist the help of the autism teacher consultant for your district or your school (if your district has a large population of students with ASD, there may be more than one). The teacher consultant is there to work on behalf of the student — he/she offers input to teachers but also is available to address parental concerns.

— Keep an open mind even if you have had a bad experience within a school district or with a particular program or activity. A different building with a different administrator and different teachers can make all the difference!

We hope you’ll post your additional comments and suggestions on our Gray Center Topic Blog at http://thegraycenter.blogspot.com/

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. I have been writing “The SUN News” since October, 2006! Some of you have been faithful readers since the beginning, others have joined along the way. I’d like to invite YOU to share your ideas and information in future issues of The SUN News by participating in our FEBRUARY CONTEST! Go to our NEW WEB SITE at www.thegraycenter.org for more details and submission information.

Posted in Parenting

Fostering Friendship

February 1, 2010
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What is friendship? Most definitions of a “friend” focus on the recipient of affection and assistance. In other words, we tend to define our friends by what they do for us, or how they make us feel. Is our tendency to view friendship in this manner consistent with our goal to promote social understanding?

Awhile back, my sixth-grade son wrote the following for a school project (names have been changed):

“Friendship means a lot to me in so many different ways. In order to be a good friend, you should encourage others, and find out what interests they have. Spending time with your friend is also a good thing to do. I have become a good friend with Kevin. We have a lot of the same interests. Kayla is also very nice. She seems to be a great encourager, and I admire her for that. A good friend seems to look at someone on the inside, instead of the out.”

My son has many friends in middle school. Yet his definition of friendship does not focus only on how friends make him feel or what they do for him. Instead, he looks at how he can BE a friend to others!

Often, parents and educators are concerned about whether individuals with ASD “have friends.” Those with the diagnosis are also eager to have someone be a friend to them. Perhaps we’re missing the greatest opportunity in the world to promote social understanding! I wonder if we would teach our kids to BE a friend, rather than “getting” or “making” friends, if the world of friendship would prove to be more open to their attempts.

The truth is, we have no control over other people’s actions, responses, or reactions. When we make attempts at friendship, we do not know how they will be received. The only thing we have control over is our own actions, responses, and reactions.

What then makes a good friend? Our list may include attributes such as honesty, affection, helpfulness, a willingness (and ability) to listen and compromise, shared interests, enjoyment of time spent together, etc. To encourage friendships, let’s try to teach our children how to exhibit these traits, rather than simply looking for them in others. We may find that it’s contagious!

If you’re working with young children, you may be helped in this area by the book, “Share and Take Turns” by Cheri Meiners, or “My Friend With Autism” by Beverly Bishop. If you’re interested in learning more about the general topic of friendship in children, consider the book “The Friendship Factor” by Kenneth Rubin. Other resources which can provide additional information about autism and/or friendship include those by Michelle Garcia Winner (her “Worksheets” book is great for teaching social thinking skills to groups of children and young people), Tony Attwood, Teresa Bolick, Brenda Smith Myles, and Yoko Yoshida. All of these resources (and many more) can be purchased at www.thegraycenter.org.

I’d like to close with two fitting quotes:

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend” (Abraham Lincoln)

Best wishes as you work on modeling and teaching what it means to BE a friend!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

NOTE: Carol Gray’s new release, The New Social Story Book: 10^th Anniversary Edition is now available! This full-color book contains 150 Social Stories, a CD to revise and print the Stories for your audience, AND additional information about writing your own Social Stories™!

Remember that you can enter our January contest and possibly win a copy of Carol’s new book by sharing information about how Social Stories have been helpful for you! (More information, including submission guidelines and a submission form are available at www.thegraycenter.org. Contest deadline is February 6).

Posted in Relationships, autism

Musical Chairs

January 24, 2010
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Have you ever played the party game “Musical Chairs?” It’s a simple little game where players walk around a circle of chairs while music plays. When the music stops, each person rushes to sit in a chair. The catch is that there aren’t quite enough chairs—one person is left standing after the others are seated. The person standing is out of the game, and another chair is removed before the activity is repeated. The last child seated at the end of the game is the winner.

I’ve played this game numerous times throughout my life. I don’t remember anyone ever telling me how to play it, yet in spite of my personal dislike for the game, I’ve managed to be successful at it. However, when one of my children was in preschool, I visited the classroom for a holiday party, and watched as all but one of the children easily participated in the game, while the teacher took one by the hand and led him around, telling him when to sit. He clearly didn’t understand the objective or the rules of the game, and he, the teacher, and the students were frustrated by his inability to participate like the other children.

Perhaps not surprisingly, this child was a student with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Activities that many of us take for granted, including games, traditions, and seemingly mundane social interactions, seem complicated to those who struggle with autism, Asperger Syndrome, or a related disorder. We need to take time to explain these things, making sure that they have the relevant information they need in order to be successful. In the case of this student, I wrote a Social Story™ to explain how the game “Musical Chairs” is played, and the teacher and I both read it to him. By the next class party, he participated fully with the other children, without the assistance of the teacher!

I don’t suppose there’s anything “magical” about Social Stories™. They can be difficult to write, especially when authors are careful to follow the guidelines and criteria defined by Carol Gray, who first described the approach in 1991. However, countless parents and professionals have found that this valuable tool has succeeded where nothing else has! Social Stories™ continue to be used around the world to celebrate achievements and demystify social situations, often with amazing results.

Last week we announced our JANUARY CONTEST, where you were invited to share YOUR stories of how you’ve used Social Stories™ at home or in the classroom (or perhaps in another environment). If you haven’t done so already. go to www.thegraycenter.org to download a submission form. You’ll have an opportunity to share your experiences with others, and possibly even to WIN a free autographed copy of Carol Gray’s newest book, The New Social Story Book: 10^th Anniversary Edition, which contains over 150 Social Stories! (NOTE: The deadline for the Social Story contest is February 6). We’ll be announcing other contests in the near future, including an opportunity for YOU to be a guest author of future issues of The SUN News!

Best wishes as you continue to use Social Stories™ and other valuable strategies to help promote social understanding and social effectiveness!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. The publisher has informed us that Carol’s new book should be ready to ship by the end of the week! If you haven’t yet ordered yours, there’s still time to do so! The book contains 150 Social Stories™, along with a CD to revise and print them for your audience, AND information from “Social Stories 10.1”—the revised guidelines and criteria for writing your own Social Stories™!

Posted in Social Understanding, autism

YOUR TURN (January Contest)–Your Stories about Social Stories(TM)

January 18, 2010
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Welcome to The SUN News, a weekly update for The Gray Center’s Social Understanding Network!

Carol Gray first described Social Stories™ in 1991. Since then, as she and her Team Social Stories™ Members have trained parents and professionals how to write and use this valuable tool, countless people around the world have helped to promote social understanding through Social Stories™.

When my children were young, I used Social Stories™ to help them deal successfully with transitions and schedule changes, getting shots, going to the fire station and other field trips, having a substitute teacher, playing party games, and winning a contest.

Speaking of winning contests…it’s your turn to do just that! Over the next year, The Gray Center is planning a variety of contests. You’ll have opportunities to share information with us, and in turn, you’ll have a chance to win a variety of valuable prizes!

From now through Saturday, February 6, you can send us information about how you’ve successfully used Social Stories™ with your children or students. Three submissions will be selected to win a copy of Carol Gray’s new book, The New Social Story Book: 10^th Anniversary Edition!

Simply download the submission guidelines at www.thegraycenter.org , complete the information requested, and fax, mail, or email your completed entry to The Gray Center! If you grant permission for us to use your information, you may soon see your story on our web site or other promotional materials…and you may win a fabulous new resource to use at home or in the classroom!

Thank you for the work you are doing around the world to promote Social Understanding! We look forward to hearing from you about your experiences using Social Stories™!

Laurel Falvo, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. Feel free to forward this information to others who might be interested in entering our January contest. And watch future issues of The SUN News to ensure that you don’t miss any of our upcoming contests!

Posted in Uncategorized

Success Before Work?

January 4, 2010
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I once heard it wisely said, “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary!”

I have no doubt that in most cases, you’re well aware of the time and effort you’ve invested in the various outcomes you label as success. Successful relationships, job promotions, graduations, and other achievements don’t usually just happen. Instead, they follow hours, or maybe even years, of hard work! Smaller or daily successes also involve labor. Keeping your home clean, making meals, completing a project, paying bills, and checking items off your “to do list” don’t happen on their own, but come as a result of time and effort.

You may be aware of the relationship between work and success, but what about your children and students? I once asked a group of young adults about their goals for the next few years. Their answers surprised me! Most aspired to be inventors, presidents of companies, or otherwise very prosperous individuals. While that may not be so surprising in and of itself, the fact was that these particular individuals were not currently employed, not attending school, not living independently, and in most cases, not able to drive or to use public transportation independently.

While these young people had a vision for success, they had no concept of the work required to reach it! What they lacked was an action plan, or a step-by-step “map” of how to get from Point A to Point B, or from their current location/status to where they’d eventually like to be.

Some of this may be due to difficulty with “dynamic organization;” a phenomenon discussed by Michelle Garcia Winner in her DVD, “Strategies for Organization: Preparing for Homework and the Real World.” (This is available at www.thegraycenter.org, and is ON SALE for the first part of this week!) Fortunately, given that this is frequently an area of difficulty for individuals with autism spectrum disorders (ASD), the DVD and accompanying workbook contain strategies for helping them to define the steps, organize, prioritize, and develop an action plan, whether the task at hand is a term paper due in three weeks, or a goal of getting a job.

Another reason for the unrealistic goals named by the young people may be a lack of understanding of the difference between a goal and a dream, or at least between a short-term and a long-term goal. If you’re currently unemployed, while you may dream of someday being a manager at a prestigious business, a worthwhile goal, at least initially, is to simply get a job, or to receive training which will enable you to qualify for a job you desire. An action plan can lay out the steps for targeting jobs that fit your interests and abilities, applying, interviewing, and of course, developing good work habits so that you’re able to keep a job once you’re hired.

As parents and teachers, we may, at least inadvertently, be contributing to others’ misconceptions regarding the important connection between work and success. How much do we do for our children and students rather than with them? Does supper seem to magically appear on the table, and clean laundry in drawers? Do we just
“know” how to deal with injuries, arguments, and sudden changes in schedules? If we don’t outline the steps we take toward successful outcomes (whether those steps are physical/tangible or mental/intangible), we may be guilty of giving others the idea that success comes easily or automatically, and can be expected to arrive the same way for them.

Next week I’ll outline specific strategies for helping yourself and others in your life to work toward success!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

Posted in Relationships, Social Understanding

The Language of Change

December 28, 2009
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Are you crafting New Year’s Resolutions for 2010? I’m guessing your resolutions don’t read like this: “This next year I’m going to keep _____________ (i.e. eating, spending, etc.) like I always have.” Usually our resolutions revolve around something that we identify as needing a makeover. Our weight is too high, our wallets are too thin, our jobs could use revitalization, our relationships have gone stale, etc.

Change is inevitable. We change our clothes when they become dirty, we dress differently for a special occasion, and we update our wardrobe as styles come and go or we outgrow (or wear out) our current attire. Family situations are transformed or modified due to death, illness, a new job, a child moving on to college or his own apartment, divorce, marriage, etc. Jobs change, classroom requirements change, and the seasons change.

We can get excited about making a New Year’s resolution as we picture a “New Me” or a “New Life” as an adventure or an obvious improvement over our current situation. Yet how many of us have the ability to hang on to that enthusiasm and determination through the New Year, let alone through the first month (or week)?

The truth is, the possibility of change often makes us uncomfortable! This is even truer for individuals with autism spectrum disorders (ASD), who tend to prefer routine and consistency. They may be frightened by the unpredictability of the unknown. Even the language of change can be discomforting to them. Words such as “new, different, and change” can provoke very strong reactions in them.

We can adapt our language to suit their need for predictability; to give them the information they need in a calm and reassuring way. When we know their “trigger words”–or those that cause them great anxiety, we can find words that are less provocative to them. For example, the words “another, additional, extra, superior, or better” may be less frightening than “new” or “different.”

However, sometimes what we don’t say is as problematic as what we do say! I still chuckle when I recall the story of family friends who were getting ready to move to a new house. They had been preparing their three-year-old for the upcoming changes by telling him how much he’d like his new bedroom, the new large backyard for playing ball, and the new basement. They were surprised that he didn’t seem very excited, until finally one day he burst into tears and said, “It sounds OK, Mommy, but I sure am going to miss you and Daddy!” In their desire to get him prepared for upcoming changes, they neglected to reassure him about those things that would stay the same! In his young mind, he had a picture of everything being new, and all the old, familiar, comforting things disappearing forever!

With this in mind, don’t forget to provide that information whenever you discuss a change or transition. Help your audience hold on to those things which bring stability and comfort whenever possible, thereby easing the anxiety surrounding the knowledge that not everything will stay the same.

Do you have other suggestions regarding this topic? I hope you’ll share those with each other on here!

As we head into yet another “New Year,” I hope you’re excited about the potential for what lies ahead, even as you find comfort in those things that are predictable and familiar.

Wishing you all a blessed and happy New Year!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

Posted in Social Understanding, autism

Standing Strong

December 19, 2009
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My family and I recently took a walk over a sand dune along Lake Michigan during a West Michigan blizzard. At the time, little snow was falling, but we were subjected to gale-force winds as we climbed the stairs for a view of the water below. As I was pelted with wind and sand, and frequently had to grab onto a railing or hold my arms out to provide greater stability and balance, I marveled at the trees which stood so strong, seemingly unaffected, against the powerful force of the wind. Do you know how they got to be so strong? This quote sums it up well: “”Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees” (J. Willard Marriott). It’s the powerful wind, which made our hike so difficult (and at times unpleasant), that over the years has helped those trees develop a strong root system which provides a firm foundation when the wind howls around and against them.

As parents, when we welcome a child into the world, we tend to do whatever we can to protect them even as we help them to grow and flourish. When a child has special needs like a diagnosis of autism, we tend to hold him or her even more closely, sheltering them from a potentially cruel and dangerous world, and hoping to encourage their growth in a way that avoids having their differences be too noticeable to the outside world. Parents work hard to help their child succeed and to protect them from failure or harsh treatment from others. But sometimes the day comes when they suddenly realize that their child hasn’t learned the skills needed to manage on their own. They lack the connections to receive help from anyone other than their parents or immediate family members. While the parents meant well, they find that that have unknowingly secluded their children from the life lessons that would prepare them to function on their own. Without the “wind” of difficulty throughout their lives, their “root systems” remain underdeveloped, making it impossible for them to stand up to the wind on their own.

The following quote explains the danger well: “As a parent, your nature is to protect. Sometimes fear of risks … can cause you to exclude a person with autism from their community.” (Marguerite Colston, spokeswoman for the Autism Society of America).

Naturally, it is difficult to know when to shelter and when to give a gentle push to help our children step out and experience life lessons for themselves. It’s a process of daily deliberations and decisions. We don’t need to do it alone—our community can be a source of help to us as we seek to uncover and maximize our children’s potential and assist them in being successful. There’s wisdom in the saying, “It takes a village,” as we admit to ourselves that we cannot do it on our own. Are you familiar with the inspiring story of Helen Keller? Hers is an amazing story of success in spite of being both blind and deaf. She once said, “A man can’t make a place for himself in the sun if he keeps taking refuge under the family tree.”

Some of you reading this have young children at home. You may be inspired to find ways to help your children develop new skills and understanding so that they can stand strong against the winds of daily living and of adversity. Others of you find that your children are grown, but do not have a strong root system. Although you will likely face resistance and other challenges as you work to help your grown son or daughter, you may be encouraged by this old proverb: “The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.” It’s never too late to make healthy changes that benefit both you and your children! Even “late bloomers” can be successful. In the words of Moliere, sometimes “The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.”

In my own parenting, I think back to numerous occasions when I bit my tongue instead of discouraging my children from trying something new. Although I was afraid they would experience failure or disappointment, or even ridicule, I let them chart their course. Sometimes it proved to be a difficult or painful outcome, but it gave us an opportunity to talk about how life works, and what we can learn each situation. Other times they succeeded beyond my wildest expectations, and we were all able to celebrate yet another joyous (and sometimes unexpected) success.

Best wishes as you continue to teach and nurture children and young adults toward an ability to stand strong and bear fruit!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. The Gray Center is officially closed until the New Year. We’ll reopen on January 4^th. We may be slow to answer phone and email messages, since our staff and volunteers will be spending time with family and friends through the holidays. Although you will not be able to visit with us in our office or utilize our library, our bookstore is always available at www.thegraycenter.org, and we will continue to process and ship your orders throughout the next two weeks.

Posted in Parenting, Relationships, Social Understanding, autism

Gifts That Keep on Giving

December 14, 2009
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Are you looking for the perfect holiday gift for someone on your shopping list? I’d like to suggest the following:

1. Books and DVDs always make great gifts! Our online bookstore has a wide variety of fabulous resources for the children, adolescents, teachers, parents, grandparents, and other special people in your life. In the past week, we’ve added several new titles, including Carol Gray’s new Social Story™ book (Anniversary Edition—available in January), “See You Later, Procrastinator (Get it Done)!,” “Look Me in the Eye,” “Teaching Your Child the Language of Social Success,” “Be Honest and Tell the Truth,” “What to Do When You’re Sad and Lonely” (and “Scared and Worried”), “Preparing for Life: The Complete Guide to Transitioning to Adulthood for those with Autism and Asperger Syndrome”), and “The Unwritten Rules of Friendship.” Through tomorrow evening, you can also take advantage of significant discounts on resources produced by The Gray Center—stock up and save as much as 80% on books and DVDs by Michelle Garcia Winner, Nick Dubin, Carol Gray, Sondra Williams, and Laurel Falvo!

2. How about a few social coaching sessions for yourself, your child, young adult, or for your family? Spend time in person or by phone working to develop new patterns or solutions, whether you’re dealing with transitioning to independence, getting more organized, or being more effective in school, at home, or on the job. More information is available on our web site.

3. Would you like your school district, parent group, or community to be better educated about autism spectrum disorders and the need for social understanding? Presentations also make a great gift! The Gray Center has several presenters available, and you may also have local talent available to provide this service. Contact info@thegraycenter.org if you’d like more information on presentations through The Gray Center.

4. Give the gift of encouragement! Look for a child or young person, parent or other family member, teacher or other professional, who could use a compliment or word of encouragement. It’s a fabulous way to spread some cheer this time of year!

5. Remember that The Gray Center can use YOUR gifts as 2009 comes to an end! Your financial support, book purchases, and volunteer labor all help us to accomplish our mission of promoting social understanding. Your assistance is always greatly appreciated! (You can make a tax-deductible donation safely and quickly online at www.thegraycenter.org).

Unlike many items on gift lists around the world (including some of those in my own home), I like to think of these options as “the gifts that keep on giving”–they have the potential to have a positive life-long impact on people’s lives!

With your help, The Gray Center is looking forward to another exciting year of programs and services. Thank you–we couldn’t do it without you!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

www.thegraycenter.org

Posted in Uncategorized

Stress-Free Holidays?

December 7, 2009
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In many households and classrooms, the holidays are a time of busy schedules, unusual activities and foods, and increased sensory stimuli. For some individuals with ASD, this is a recipe for discomfort and/or disaster.

While some of this cannot be avoided, there are things that parents and teachers can do to help make the holidays more enjoyable–or bearable–for those with ASD. Here are just a few ideas:

Evaluate the Schedule–As a mom and former teacher, I know about the pressure to pack as much in as possible during the last few weeks of the year. Special projects, school programs, making or purchasing gifts, baking special foods, and visiting with friends and family all compete for a place on the calendar. This may happen at the expense of our own perceived sanity, as well as the comfort of our children.

1. Can something be removed from the schedule? This may require saying, “no” to a social engagement, purchasing a gift instead of making it (or the other way around, depending on what is less stressful for you and your family!), or working with friends and family to share baked goods instead of making all of them yourself.

2. Can the individual with ASD be better informed about the schedule? A visual may be helpful for them to anticipate the upcoming activities. This might take the form of a calendar, poster, or “advent calendar” counting down to Christmas or some other special event. (Advent calendars are commercially available. You can also make a paper chain with the correct number of links, having the individual remove a link each day until the special day arrives). For transitions, special events, travels, or a change in schedule, the use of a Social Story(TM) might be helpful (see www.thegraycenter.org for more information).

3. What will stay the same? Often it is comforting for people to know what will NOT be changing during a busy or stressful time. This sometimes helps to keep the changes and transitions in perspective.

Evaluate the Sensory Environment–Most environments (neighborhoods, homes, malls, schools, etc.) take on an increased level of sensory stimuli during the holidays. Lights, music, decorations, and baked or cooked treats all add to the visual, auditory, olfactory, and other sensory input. This can be overwhelming to those who struggle even on a “normal” day to process and make sense of the sensory bombardment.

1. Can something be removed? If there’s lighting, music, or some other stimulus that’s particularly disturbing to the individual, can it be removed or used only at specific, predictable times? My sons never appreciated the motion-activated “talking Santas” and other figures that danced and sang when they walked past. I made sure that we avoided those aisles in the store, or that they were turned off when we visited people who had them.

2. Be sure to provide a quiet, predictable “place away” for those likely to feel overwhelmed by the sensory environment. It should include things that are comforting to the individual–special music, a favorite toy or other item, a comfortable blanket or pillow, etc. You might even be able to work with the individual to set up this special place, and/or to schedule “down times” when it will be used (although if at all possible, it should always be accessible as needed). Some individuals may benefit from having a set of headphones available to use when noise becomes overwhelming to them.

3. Consider whether a “sensory diet” might be helpful for a particular individual. Sometimes heavy lifting (toting a gallon of milk or pulling a wagon), movement activities (jumping or swinging), and other techniques may be helpful. Your local occupational therapist might be able to provide personal suggestions for the individual with whom you live or work. You might also want to consult sensory integration resources such as those found at www.thegraycenter.org.

Consider dietary factors–Parties and family gatherings provide numerous opportunities to try new, delicious foods. However, this may be upsetting to some individuals, or may create intestinal or behavioral problems for others when they eat unfamiliar foods. Some should be avoiding these treats due to food intolerances, sensitivities, or allergies. It is helpful if teachers communicate with parents about upcoming food parties, so that parents can substitute foods as needed. If attending parties, the individual can eat acceptable or comforting foods ahead of time so they are not as tempted by the foods at the party (or a parent can pack foods to take along–something I did often when my kids were on a gluten-free and casein-free diet).

Other practical suggestions–Don’t forget to schedule “down time” for enjoying favorite activities and for sleeping. When we’re tired, we typically have a harder time dealing with sensory and scheduling stressors.

It’s also important to factor in physical activity. Walking, jogging, or other forms of exercise or movement are also an important component during the holidays.

What about you?– Do you have suggestions for promoting “stress-free holidays?” Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, teacher, administrator, sibling, or individual with ASD (or anyone else), we’d love to hear your

creative ideas! Please visit our “topic blog” at http://thegraycenter.blogspot.com/search/label/Holidays%20and%20Vacations and post your comments and suggestions to help others in our network of friends.

Wishing you all an enjoyable, relatively “stress-free” holiday season!

Laurel Falvo, CFLE

Certified Family Life Educator

Executive Director, The Gray Center

www.thegraycenter.org

P.S. Just in time for the holidays and New Year: pre-purchase your copy (SIGNED by author Carol Gray) of The New Social Story Book: 10th Anniversary Edition! For only $34.95 you get 150 Social Stories(TM) by Carol Gray, a CD of the Stories enabling you to revise and print them for your audience, and Social Stories 10.1 (instructions for writing your own Social Stories). Find out more, or purchase your copy today (or several to give away) at www.thegraycenter.org! (The book will ship as soon as it is published, sometime in January).

Posted in Social Understanding, autism

Just Because

November 30, 2009
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Over three years ago, I began sending a weekly “SUN News” article to people around the world who are working to promote social understanding. These articles have focused on autism spectrum disorders (ASD), social understanding, teaching, parenting, sensory integration, adolescence, Social Stories™ and other resources, new ways of viewing our parenting and teaching, and more. Many of you have written to express appreciation for these articles, and have shared your stories and your questions so that I have had an opportunity to learn from you, also. Your inspiration and encouragement have helped me send out over 160 weekly articles to date. Thank you!

Many of you have purchased books, DVDs, posters, and/or CDs from The Gray Center’s online bookstore, or participated in our workshops, conferences, groups, networks, and coaching services. The money you spend on Gray Center resources helps us to provide these valuable opportunities. Thank you!

By participating in the areas listed above, you have indicated that you need the information that The Gray Center provides. Through accessing our web site, calling or emailing our staff, or attending an event, you receive necessary—and hopefully valuable—information and support.

I’m writing today to ask you to do one more thing—“just because!” It’s something you can do to help The Gray Center and the people we serve. It’s an opportunity to impact the lives of individuals and families around the world.

I’m asking you to make a donation, in any amount you are able, “just because!”

Your “just because” may differ from that of another person reading this today. Perhaps you can identify with one or more of the following:

Maybe you are willing to give a donation “just because…”

- You have a child, sibling, parent, grandchild, friend, employee or student with autism—or you have been diagnosed with ASD or believe that you may be on the spectrum

- You have been receiving and benefiting from The SUN News—a resource which The Gray Center provides for free–for up to three years

- You have received assistance from a Gray Center staff member or from our web site

- You share in The Gray Center’s mission of promoting social understanding

- You are willing to give up a latte, dinner in a restaurant, or new purchase so that The Gray Center can use your gift to provide services to a family who is out of work and unable to access necessary resources and/or struggling with a new diagnosis or strategies for improving social effectiveness

- You care about The Gray Center’s ability to continue to provide these services, and recognize that in this difficult economy, we can’t do it without you

I know there are many wonderful organizations vying for your financial contributions, especially at this time of year. You likely encounter daily opportunities to spend your hard-earned money. We are honored that you continue to support The Gray Center with your time and your participation, but hope you’ll take a moment to give a financial gift, whether it’s $5, $25, $100, or $500… “just because!”

Thank you for supporting The Gray Center!

Laurel Falvo, Executive Director

The Gray Center for Social Learning and Understanding

You can give quickly and securely online at www.thegraycenter.org, or send a check to:

The Gray Center, 100 Pine St., Suite 121, Zeeland, MI 49464

Note that all donations are tax-deductible (in the US) and will be acknowledged with a letter/receipt.

(Please note that we will not be using the postal service to send a letter requesting donations. We are using our financial resources to meet people’s needs, rather than paying for paper and postage.)

If you shop online, please use www.iGive.com/graycenter as your gateway to surfing and shopping. The Gray Center receives donations from thousands of online merchants when you visit their sites and make purchases. (Installing the iGive toolbar on your browser is a great way to ensure that donations will be tracked and credited to The Gray Center).

ONE MORE NOTE: All Social Story™ resources are on SALE through tomorrow evening at www.thegraycenter.org as our way of saying “thanks” for your support!

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